Going on an international assignment? - What about the family's needs?

The opportunity of an overseas assignment can be an enriching experience enabling personal as well as professional development. This of course necessitates change which will inevitably present some challenges as well as opportunities. Adequate preparation for change is essential to ensure a smooth transition and also requires good communication.

Open and honest communication is necessary right from the beginning. From the skills used in informing the employee of the international opportunity through to how it is discussed with the partner. Just as important also is how children and extended family receive the news. Without good communication there will not be the necessary support to enable greater adaptability and less vulnerability to stress.

Changes will take place within the interpersonal relationships of the couple and the family. Living away from easy access to familiar sources of support, individuals often become more dependent on each other. There is the opportunity to get to know each other in a different way and the possibility to grow and develop a special bond together. This is dependent on open communication which means firstly negotiating and making time for each other. Healthy communication has to be a two-way process of expressing emotions and feeling heard and accepted.

Solutions may not always be necessary. Making time for each other to share feelings and patient understanding may be all that is required.

Children need communication as well. They need to be prepared and to be told what is happening and as early as possible. This includes children as young as two years as they are at the life-stage of beginning to develop attachments and need security. They have to be able to say goodbye to friends and family left behind and to be reassured that they will see each other again. It is also very important at this time of change to maintain a routine of familiarity.
Communicating with children needs to be as concrete as possible, telling them the reason according to their developmental age why the family are moving and where they are moving to. Reassurance and honest replies to questions, as well as making time for cuddles, hugs and being close, all play a part. Children should be encouraged to express their feelings and space and time provided for children to talk and to be listened to when they do.

With older children there is also a need to be aware of each others feelings and to encourage expression of feelings as well as sharing in and giving each other support. Adjustment takes time. This is normal. With patience, understanding and good communication the family will have grown together and shared in a very special experience.

Cultural adaptation, living conditions including children's health, welfare and education and the opportunity to discuss family experiences first-hand can be included within the highly successful customised family briefings at Farnham Castle and make a valuable input into this important transitional period.